Why Shuuichi should never, ever get drunkEVER
by Chibi-Edo-san
Summary: It's just what it sounds like; nothing more, nothing less. enjoy. Originally meant as a script for a masquerade skit...hopefully will not be deleted, as there is no other way to make this work...


Alright, this was actually written a while ago, but I really felt the need to put it up on here...enjoy, and i own nothing. And if happens to edit out the changes; everything in itallics is actions...

* * *

**Why Shuuichi should never get drunk. EVER!**

_Shuuichi stumbles across the stage, falls once or twice. Stumbles through the following speech_

**Shuuichi:** Okay..okay..there's a good reason for why I look like this..and I have it written down here..(_pulls out a paper_)But I'm not gonna sing it..m'kay? You'd understand it better in..rap..

"Just Lose It"

**Intro**  
(_Shuiichi making noises_)  
Ok..  
Guess who's back?  
Back again  
the uke's back points to self  
Tell a friend  
**Yuki:** Baka! leaves the stage for a while_  
(Shuuichi dances in a strange, drunken manner, then suddenly sobers up)_

Now everyone report to the con floor To the con floor, to the con floor  
Now everyone report to the con floor  
Alright Stop!...Bishounen time  
_(MC Hammer-ish moves in the above verse)_

**Verse 1  
** Come here little fangirls, On my lap _(pats legs)_  
Guess who's back with a brand new record?  
And I don't mean record as in the spoken word of a old Trekkie star...  
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Don't worry (_waves finger)_, Shuuichi's got a brand new bag of toys  
What else could I possibly do to get noticed?  
I done touched on everything, but game-master boys (_ad-lib dance)_  
That's not a stab at Sensui  
That's just a metaphor, I'm just psycho  
I go a little bit spazy sometimes  
I get a whole lot out of control with my feelings...  
Good Gods, dip, do a little slide  
Stretch up, grab the strawberry Pocky and just glide _(follows the instructions of the past two lines)_  
Up the center of the store aisle  
Like sugar for my system-oh (_waves hands downward in a "it's fine" gesture)_  
And it's cool if ya'll let one go  
Nobody's gonna know, who'd hear it?  
Give a little "poot poot" (_sticks butt out, pulls it back in_), it's OK! (_Fart Sound)_  
Oops the cd just skipped  
And every congoer just let one rip _(waves finger accusingly)_

Chorus Now I will make you dance  
It's your chance  
Yeah girl shake that thing  
Oops I mean boy  
_(Yuki passes behind, eyes wide in confusion. Holds up sign saying as much)_  
boy boy boy  
fawns Oh Yuki, you're my world  
Alright now lose it  
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Just lose it  
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Go crazy  
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Oh baby  
(HA-HA)  
Oh baby, baby  
(HA-HA)  
(_ad-lib dance_)

**Verse 2**  
It's an off day and it's my day  
Just to party all the way to sunday  
Maybe til monday, I dunno what day  
All the time it's just a holiday  
Crusin' down the street and  
Feelin' kinda bishie  
Got the top down, lettin' my hair blow flips hair  
I have no clue where I'm goin' but  
All I know is when I get there  
Someone's gonna "touch my body" moves body like a snake standing up while running hand down side  
_(Ad-lib dance for the earlier part of the verse)_

Excuse me miss, I don't mean to sound like a gaijin  
But I'm feelin' just a little stressed out from rehersal  
Could you hit me in the stomach and pull my pink hair?  
Spit on me, maybe gouge my eyes out? (Yeah)  
Now, what's your name girl?  
What's your sign?  
Tohma (or some other male character) "Boy, you must be up out your mind!"  
Tohma! (HA-HA)  
Sake Goggles! blind!  
I'm just trying to unwind now I'm

**Chorus**  
Now I will make you dance  
It's your chance  
Yeah girl shake that thing  
Oops I mean boy  
boy boy boy  
fawns Oh Yuki, you're my world  
Alright now lose it  
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Just lose it  
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Go crazy  
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Oh baby  
(HA-HA)  
Oh baby, baby  
(HA-HA)  
(_ad-lib dance)_

**Verse 3**  
Now it's Tuesday and I'm locked up  
I'm in jail and I don't know what happend  
They say I was running butt naked  
Down the street screaming  
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Well I'm sorry, I don't remember _Yuki hangs his head in shame..._  
All I know is this much  
I'm not guilty  
They said, "Save it, bishie, we gotcha you on tape  
yellin' at your best friend 'touch my body!' "  
_(ad-lib dance)_

Now this is the part where the rap breaks down  
It gets soo intense, no one makes a sound  
Everything looks like it's "Eva" now!  
The beat comes back and everybody lose themselves  
Snap back to reality  
Look it's Ranma 1/2ity?  
Yo-you signed me up to battle?  
This isn't any martial art!  
Dubba dubba dubba dubba dubba dubbie  
I don't have anything to do right here so, chubba teletubbie!  
Fella's (WHAT!) Fella's (WHAT!)  
Grab you rival, make his girlfriend jealous (what?)  
Bishies  
he-she's  
gaijin's  
jidushi's (is that the right name for the Fruits Basket group?)  
Tall girls  
Small girls  
I'm callin' all otakus  
Everyone report to the con floor.  
It's your chance for a little romantor.  
Butt squeezin' it's the season  
Just go (HA-HA-HA-HA)  
It's so appeasin'

**Chorus**  
Now I will make you dance  
It's your chance  
Yeah girl shake that thing  
Oops I mean boy  
boy boy boy  
fawns Oh Yuki, you're my world  
Alright now lose it  
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Just lose it  
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Go crazy  
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Oh baby  
(HA-HA)  
Oh baby, baby  
(HA-HA)  
(_ad-lib dance_)

(Yuki, whose been wandering around, then standing at the far side of the stage, steps across the stage. He grabs Shuuichi by the waist and hauls him away from the mic after the first two lines)

**Outro**  
UmMmMmm touch my body  
UmMmMmm touch my body  
Ooh girl just touch my body  
I mean boy just touch my body  
_  
(Yuki puts Shuuchi down for a moment, because the pink haired sprite is struggling in his grip)_  
**  
Shuuichi:** Yuki...I was havin' fun. stomps on the ground  
Yuki picks Shuuichi back up by the waist again  
**Yuki: **I am never giving you sake again. NEVER.  
_ exit Yuki and Shuuichi)_  
** (fin)**


End file.
